ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
