I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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