Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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