i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize