The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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