you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Say something about gay babies.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize