when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
