Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
