We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
