Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
