note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
