I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize