I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
