i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
