I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
