Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
