i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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