why didn't you poke me back
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
