well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
