yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
