I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
