how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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