Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
