Betty ford says i'm here all night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
