I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
