im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
