small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
