fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
