my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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