jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize