listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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