Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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