i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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