Non-Jews are for practice
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
