She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
