I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
