Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
