She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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