my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
