Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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