The maid of honor just puked.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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