Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
