Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
wow bdsm is so cute
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
