Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
