so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my sisters under your porch take her home
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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