I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
