There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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