My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
