HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
