I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
