We're facebook friends in real life
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
