it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
