I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
