Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
